Top of the iTunes - Week of 11/11

This segment reviews the top 10 U.S. iTunes songs of the week.

iTunes Top 10 for 11/11

On this lucky week (make a wish!), let's look at what songs are currently making bank in the top 10. This week isn't All Bad, as some Royal tunes are Roaring  and.... okay whatever, let's just skip to the impressions.

1. Justin Bieber - All Bad (review)

The newest entry in the "Music Mondays" series, Bieb's attempt to make his fans buy 10 singles and then also buy the album, "All Bad" is a title reflecting on his music.

Ha.

But seriously, it does move away from the angsty romantic diarrhea he's been farting out and gives us some insight into his private life as an actual person having to deal with fame. And as it turns out, he's just as whiny and bitchy as his public persona has been the past year or so. With mind-opening lyrics such as "Ooh, you know females / And how they like to run their mouths" and "I might make you mad / My bad," you really get a deep sense of Justin as a person. See guys, it's not his fault everyone thinks he's a dick! It's the paparazzi! And females!!!

JB going to the studio to record his new mature masterpiece.

It's times like this when I wonder who is still buying his songs. When Justin came out on the scene with some cute inoffensive songs, he quickly became the most hated celebrity of the modern era. Now he's finally acting like the dick everyone said he was. Maybe this is karma. Maybe we destroyed another fragile soul through the cruel vehicle of fame.

But he's still been a huge prick, and even worse, his songs have stopped being catchy. "All Bad" is a little better, with a chorus you can remember for more than five minutes, but it's still far from "Baby" or even "Boyfriend." You do you Justin. Or actually, don't.

[MOCK IT]

2. Eminem - The Monster (feat. Rihanna) (review)

Remember when Rihanna used to smile?

After releasing more "lead singles" from his new album than Nicki did for Roman Reloaded (did they even try with "Survival"?), Eminem finally found one that stuck with "The Monster." It's not exactly a "monster" of a track, but he got Rihanna to do the hook so obviously it's worth listening to. Plus, I don't even think he attacks the gays or females in this song, which pretty much forces me to put this on repeat, even if it pales in comparison to their last collab "Love the Way You Lie."

Eminem delivers a few short verses talking about how it sucks to be fabulously wealthy and famous and having millions of loyal fans, and then Rihanna sings about talking to imaginary friends. It's a good time.

[SPOTIFY IT]

3. Lorde - Royals (review)

The smash hit of the fall, Royals still isn't going anywhere on the charts. I hope everyone realizes the irony of a song talking about not being rich or famous making Lorde totally rich and famous, but even if you don't, the song is still worth buying. It's a breath of fresh air from the dried up pop-divas of old (see: Britney, Gaga, and Beyonce's careers slowly sinking), and proves you can have relatable lyrics without making a love song.

Plus, it's catchy as hell.

When will your trashy fav?

[BUY IT]

4. OneRepublic - Counting Stars (review)

OneRepublic is one of those bands that I never really thought I liked, and then I realize that I'm in love with every single they ever released. So it's no surprise I'm liking "Counting Stars." It's a smartly made track mixing in "maybe this is country influenced" production with "we don't care about the money (but #BuyThisOniTunes please)" lyrics, so again, it's no surprise this single is doing well. It's like Wake Me Up + Royals but slightly less catchy.

[SPOTIFY IT]

5. Ke$ha - Timber (review)

God$ha.

Finally. I almost thought the top 10 was going to be without a pure pop-trash track. Unlike the rest of the top five fakes pretending to be actual artists, Ke$ha brings the sleaze in full force, ripping off Wake Me Up and sticking some verses that may or may not have actual words in between a chorus that rivals any top 10 single she's ever released. Oh, and I think Pitbull is somewhere on the track?

[BUY IT]

6. Katy Perry - Roar (review)

Remember when Katy Perry said her new album was going to be completely different from Teenage Dream? And remember when she was so certain how different this new album was going to be that she literally held a funeral for her last album? And then remember when she released this Teenage Dream b-side as the lead single for said album?

Yeah. I still haven't forgiven her.

[SPOTIFY IT]

7. Avicii - Wake Me Up (review)

I was going to put a picture of the tattoo from the music video, but then this came up, and I think this is very important to include in this article.

Avicii, formerly known to me as "that guy who produced that one flop Leona Lewis song" continues to slay with Wake Me Up, which refuses to leave the top 10 until Roar does. I feel like this is going to be one of the last super EDM-heavy smashes for a while, so I'm happy to have it stay around for as long as it wants.

[SPOTIFY IT]

8. Imagine Dragons - Demons (review)

Imagine Dragons is the Adele of 2013: everyone loves them, every single they release is popular, and they remain classy as fuck. Their latest single is a super cute love song about demons. The chorus is super cute, the verses are super cute, and the lyrics are super cute. "Don't get too close, it's dark inside / It's where my demons hide." <33 If you haven't already bought their album, get this single, and pray their next album is as good as Night Visions.

Imagine Dragons

[BUY IT]

9.  Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball (review)

As Thanksgivings nears, I think it's time we count our blessings. This year, I'm thankful for Miley Cyrus. In a year where the pop divas of old were either flopping (Britney, Gaga, Ke$ha), boring (Katy Perry), or dead (Beyonce), Miley came in like a wrecking ball and make the pop game interesting again. Everyone had an opinion on her. The liberals hated Miley for culturally appropriating twerking, the conservatives hated Miley Cyrus for everything else she did. Plus, she actually had the music to back it up. "Wrecking Ball" is a song with actual emotion, in addition to being catchy. And then the "Wrecking Ball" music video dropped, broke every record, and became the anthem of our generation.

A screenshot from Miley's Nobel Peace Prize winning music video, "Wrecking Ball."

[BUY IT]

10. Passenger - Let Her Go (review)

Passenger either singing, or in the middle of pooping.

This song has been floating in and out of the top 10 for a little while, but I never bothered to listen to it until now. It's actually a really pretty folk-ish song with vocals I'm 75% sure weren't autotuned. It's exciting to see less pop sounding songs ("Royals", "Demons", etc.) getting traction. I'm not sure if I'll listen to it again, but I liked listening to it the first time.

[SPOTIFY IT]

Obscure Indie Gems:
(Aka anything not in the top 10 I want to talk about.)

11. A Great Big World - Say Something (feat. Christina Aguilera):
I decided to write this feature Sunday night, and was excited to see this song in the top 10. However, Monday morning came along, and this song has fallen hard, dropping all the way down to #11. It's a shame this is a flop, as it's a really beautiful song and Xtina actually doesn't over-sing during it. Like at all.

19. Katy Perry - Unconditionally:
You don't know how happy it makes me to see "Unconditionally," the only song from Prism Katy's released so far that actually fits in with her mission statement of being more mature, flop as badly as it has as her second single. She should have learned her lesson from "Thinking of You" and "The One That Got Away": her ballads never sell.